Episode 205

How to Be a Decent Human When Someone Is Not Decent to You With Dr. Joseph Ciarrochi

Published on: 6th July, 2026

On The Wise Effort show, Diana Hill talks with Dr. Joseph Ciarrochi, a researcher in process-based therapy and ACT, about self-righteous anger and how to stay honest and kind when others aren’t. They explore the psychology of getting “hijacked” in conflict, describing outrage and being right as an addiction (experiential attachment) distinct from experiential avoidance, with different intervention implications. Using examples like a conflict with neighbors, online outrage, and relationship fights, they discuss wise distance, not adding fuel to the fire, asserting boundaries when effective, and directing core human yearnings (competence, connection, purpose, meaning, orientation, and feeling) toward what truly satisfies rather than empty status pursuits.

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    Diana Hill

    Dr. Diana Hill, PhD is a clinical psychologist, executive consultant, and international trainer who helps leaders and teams navigate complexity without precedent. Her Wise Effort Method addresses a problem most high performers recognize immediately: the drive that got them here is now working against them. A leading voice in the evolution of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, she co-leads ACT BootCamp with ACT founder Dr. Steven Hayes, trains the trainers, and serves as an instructor for the University of California's Climate Resilience Initiative. She has led executive retreats and intensives for leadership teams including Deckers Brands, Lightfully Behavioral Health, and YPO. Diana is the author of Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most and three other books, hosts the Wise Effort podcast, and has been featured on NPR, CNN, and The Wall Street Journal. With over 20 years of yoga and meditation practice, she teaches from embodied experience rather than theory alone — her sessions are experiential and transformational.